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We may think we can control our grief, our terror, or our shame by remaining silent, but naming offers the possibility of a different kind of control… If you've been hurt, you need to acknowledge and name what happened to you… Feeling listened to and understood changes our physiology: being able to articulate a complex feeling, and having our feelings recognized, lights up our limbic brain and creates an "aha moment."  In contrast, being met by silence and incomprehension kills the spirit.  Or , as John Bowlby so memorably put it 'What can not be spoken to the (m)other cannot be told to the self.

How are you feeling? Do you feel like you'rekeeping up with life, or just ticking off tasks? Is your life full of meaning,or does it feel robotic and lonely at times? I imagine your answer changes, depending on the day. Let’s talk about trauma. Some argue it’s overused today,and I agree to an extent. However, I believe our culture often overlooks its deeper meaning, rooted in psychoanalytic theory from a century ago. To me,trauma means having more emotional weight than we can bear, causing our true feelings to get buried. This weight dulls our senses, memories, and ability to perceive reality clearly. Instead of confronting it, we often cover trauma with superficial positivity, religious dogma, or societal expectations—anything but acknowledging our unique experiences. When we do face it, however, trauma can add depth, meaning, and richness to our lives and identities.The pandemic was undoubtedly a “Big T” trauma—catastrophic and singular in nature. But whether it’s Big T or small t, I’m passionate about helping you move beyond the fear and emotional aftermath of difficult experiences, so you can live a life with more clarity and peace.

Seven in ten Americans report experiencing trauma, and if you've been traumatized, you're not alone. Trauma can be a catalyst for growth, helping you develop strengths that can be used for good. Many influential figures, including Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Oprah, and others, have also faced trauma. If you've experienced it, you're in great company!

Discovering joy is about discovering one's own capacity for fun and excitement.

Discovering Joy
“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance… The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
– Steven Pressfield (The War of Art)

 Self-care is often talked about, but it also involves embracing a wide range of emotions—joy, sadness, adventure, and meaning—rather than just focusing on forced positivity. True self-care means allowing ourselves to feel and process all emotions, which is often easier with a supportive person, like a friend or therapist. We also need to ask ourselves: Are we truly happy? Do we understand our emotions and make the most of our lives? Do we desire to pursue our own dreams, whether in work or relationships, and feel fulfilled?Psychotherapy can provide a space to explore and express these feelings, often for the first time, helping us understand what we've been hiding or not fully realizing. Do you wonder if there is any hope for you? Have your buried your dreams under layers of denial and fear of disappointment?

Psychotherapy is a place where there is room for you to:  
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• Express, in words, sometimes for the first time, what has remained either hidden or unrealized until now, in some way that doesn’t make a lot of sense to you.
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Psychotherapy makes room for:
• Expressing the unexpressed
• Making the unconscious conscious
• Integrating thoughts and feelings
• Restoring a sense of agency and perspective
• Providing a platform for exploring our maladaptive illusions
• The opportunity to trust through being with another person
Source: Cozolino 2015


Ingredients for good psychotherapy:
• A secure attachment within a therapeutic relationship which serves as a setting for positive change.
• Emotional security so that new information can enter a previously closed system of beliefs.
• An opportunity to experiment with new emotions, actions and language  which allows for both editing and creating an entirely new script for your life.
• A good therapist studies a client, to see if the client’s stories about himself are blueprints for exploration, leadership and courage, or stories suggesting that he is waiting to be rescued by somebody else.
• A good therapist helps a client rewrite her story, with new plots, trajectories and conclusions, with herself or himself as the author.
Source: Cozolino 2015

“Is Life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves?”
– Friedrich Nietzsche– Friedrich Nietzsche

Discovering joy is about surrendering to our deepest desires and finding healthy ways to express them.

“Is Life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves?”

Our culture is filled with aging stereotypes, especially in the world of fashion, show business, politics, or technology, where age is often seen as a disadvantage despite one's accomplishments. Younger candidates, with more vitality, often take center stage, which can throw off older opponents. While some age-related changes, like declining eyesight or hearing, are inevitable, studies show that older individuals tend to report greater happiness, emotional control, and empathy. Aging can bring wisdom, tolerance, and the ability to mentor others, but it can also lead to self-loathing and fear of decline. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and psychoanalysis can help individuals reshape their mindset, combat aging anxieties, and embrace the process with hope and creativity.

"Soon I'll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold?"

“Friendship, marriage, psychotherapy, parenting and grandparenting-in fact, any meaningful relationship any time of life- can activate neuroplastic processes and change the structure and functioning of the brain.”

Newly published research by the Yale School of Public Health demonstrated that individuals who hold negative beliefs about aging are more likely to have brain changes associated with memory concerns. The study suggests that combating negative beliefs about aging, such as ‘elderly people are decrepit’ could potentially offer a way to reduce the rapidly rising rate of this condition.
The study, led by Becca Levy, associate professor of public health and  psychology, is the first to link the brain changes related to memory concerns to  culturally-based psychosocial risk factors. The findings were published December 7, 2015 in the journal Psychology of Aging:

“We believe it is the stress generated by the negative beliefs about aging that individuals sometimes internalize from society that can result in pathological brain changes. Although the findings are concerning, it is encouraging to realize that these negative beliefs about aging can be mitigated and positive beliefs about aging can be reinforced, so that the adverse impact is not inevitable.”