What does it even mean to "be" yourself?

Have you ever been told to 'just be yourself' and everything will work out? It's a common cliche, and one that is not all that understood.

It implies a lack of pretense, a lack of defensiveness, an openness to experience, an open heart, right? Well for many people raised by parents

with their own hang ups, which is all of us, being yourself is easier said than done. But it can start with feeling safe enough to let down your guard,

with or without someone safe and noncritical, and to begin to speak and listen to how that feels inside. If you find yourself beginning to feel like

you have company, someone who understands, you can eventually extend that sort of open hearted listen to when you are alone with yourself.

It's a process, and recognizing what category of need you are having in that moment takes practice, but it can be done. Most of us long to just be recognized, for only in being recognized, by ourselves or others, can we even begin to approach the idea of knowing, and eventually being able to 'be' ourselves.