Is this Ageism?
Ageism is all around us. It’s the last acceptable prejudice. Why? I have different thoughts.
One in particular is that our culture, our consumer capitalistic culture in the US, is emotionally illiterate about many things, particularly death. The older we are the closer we are to death. Our culture struggles with death at any age; grieving is very difficult for many. There are few role models. The book IT’S OKAY THAT YOU’RE NOT OKAY was recommended to me by my nephew John. John suffered an unimaginable loss and found this book helpful. It describes our culture as way out of its depth when it comes to comforting people with losses. We either try to change the subject, shame the person grieving into avoiding talking about it, and pretending to be okay, or ‘topping’ where we use their grief as OUR permission slip to finally discuss OUR own losses (“You lost your child? I know what you are going through. My brother died when I was 8.”) and so it goes, our culture cannot deal with death. And older people represent death to people traumatized and phobic about it, which is most of us. But I want us to be able to talk about life as well as death, and life for many older people can be meaningful and rich, filled with good moments, if the ageism surrounding being older can be challenged and neutralized so it doesn’t kill us. People with negative beliefs about aging live an average of seven years less than those who don’t. That is seven years that could be filled with, among other things, nurturing children, sending wise vibes to the culture, and creating a holding environment filled with wisdom and perspicacity for the younger generations. And our world needs that! So read up about ageism and learn to notice it, in yourself and others, and transform that ism into something better, something more fair, more just, and more true.
