Can't sleep? Try "Quiet Wakefullness"
Sleeping well is a gift. Dreaming, deeply dreaming while our bodies are limp, is the best way to care for ourselves at night. But sometimes, sleep is elusive. And at times like that, when I hear the complaint "I couldn't sleep last night!" said in usually an anxious sad and despairing way, I wish I could wave a wand and help the person sleep. I wish I could. But sleep, like most precious things in life, including love, cannot be caught. Like happiness, as the old adage goes, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you! Sleep is a fragile delicate thing. Chasing it, demanding it, feeling terrified if you don't have it, is the all time WORST way to achieve it. You can't chase love, you can't chase anything. But there are things you can do, to slowly coax that anxious brain of yours into a more sleep ful state of mind.
I came across the article below in MEDIUM magazine. It's terrific, and it outlines something I have believed for a long time. It's that even if you can't sleep, you don't have to give up entirely. The idea of Quiet Wakefullness is that you do not chase sleep. You remove even the THOUGHT of sleep from your vocabulary. Instead, you think of restoration, you think of restfulness, and to me, you think of loving yourself into relaxation at best. And that quiet genuine attitude can go a long way to restoring you, even if its not 100 percent REM sleep every night.
There is a lot to be said for accepting ourselves the way we are, even if we are anxious, even if we are obsessed with something, even if we are angry or engraged at someone or some thing, and definitely even if we are not the worlds greatest sleeper. There is a lot to be said for loving ourselves, even if we read all the time about how dangerous it is to go without sleep. I believe those fear mongering articles don't help us. What CAN help though is deciding to find a special pleasant place to rest every night. What CAN help is creating a comforting routine that makes you feel safe, and accepted, and okay about yourself, even if you lie there quietly reviewing all the hateful feelings you have towards your job, or worried about your health, or self conscious around your friends, or dreading losing money in your 401K. Sound crazy? Maybe. But what's crazier to me is pretending you can turn off all the stressful chatter in your head like a switch for eight hours, without any ambivalence or trouble at all. That sounds bizarre to me. Some people, some lucky few, can do that. But the rest of us?? We are human, we are sensitive, and we struggle sometimes to let go and relax. We struggle to sink into our dream world without fear. We resist. We stay tense. We have racing thoughts. And I say, so what? If we do we do. Why not just accept that and do what the article below suggests? Why not create a beautiful resting and restoration area, not a bed, a timer, and a demand we sleep eight hours a night or else!!! Why not be nice to ourseles, rather than demanding that even at night we perform miracles, in addition to performing every day for 16 hours, putting food on the table, and caring for our loved ones,every single day and night? This is within your power. And this quiet resting is like getting a B grade in the sleep subject or maybe even in life. How about we slow down and stop the insanity? How about we decide to just live, not excel, not be spectacular, even at night? No Quiet Restfulness is not A ++ in the sleep arena, which all the articles say is necessary or you will suffer a thousand horrible consequences as a result. No it is not. But howabout let's try to find you a compromise if you don't sleep perfectly. Let's find you a middle ground you can live with. Quiet Restfullness. Quiet Restfullness is like getting a good solid B in the sleep subject. It is enough. It should get you through. And it can be kind of cool to create a calm resting place that is special just to you, that you look forward to visiting every night. So please take a look at the article below, and if it resonates, please share these ideas with everybody you know.. I would be so happy if we could turn this pressure to sleep perfectly, A++, each and every night, which is causing tremendous anxiety for a large segment of the population, around! I would be happy if Quiet Restfullness became the sane alternative to I CAN'T SLEEP!!!
Can’t Sleep? Try ‘QuietWakefulness’ Instead
Stoptrying so hard to nap. Resting could have similar benefits.
Published in MEDIUM.
By Cassie Shortsleeve
When professional sports organizations arelooking to build a nap room for players, one of the first things that sleepspecialist W. Christopher Winter,M.D., tells them is: Don’t call it that.
“We try to get teams to call these rooms something thatdoesn’t have ‘sleep’ or ‘nap’ in the title — the ‘restoration room’ or the‘regeneration room,’ for example,” explains Winter, who consults with the MLB,NHL, and NBA.
The reason: To take away that implied,it’s-time-to-sleep pressure where your experience is considered successful ifyou sleep and a failure if you don’t.
The other reason: It introduces the idea of a powerfulresting activity called “quiet wakefulness,” which is gaining traction amongsleep doctors and busy-but-health-conscious circles.
What exactly is quietwakefulness?
In short, it’s simply resting with your eyes closed. It’s compelling,in part, because it completely eliminates the stress surrounding sleep —particularly that I can’t fall asleep right now so my health is goingto fall apart feeling that keeps you awake.
Stress and naps are a common yet unfortunate pairing,Dr. Winter explains. Many people can work themselves up so much about fallingasleep that they struggle to actually do it.
But while you might not be able to fully control exactlywhen you fall asleep, you can control when you rest — and that’s one of quietwakefulness’ biggest benefits.
Of course, that’s normal. “Most people don’t havecomplete control over their sleep,” Dr. Winter acknowledges. It would bestrange, he says, to meet somebody who says, I have never had any troublesleeping whatsoever. Having occasional sleep problems is to be expected.
But while you might not be able to fully control exactlywhen you fall asleep, you can control when you rest — and that’s one of quietwakefulness’ biggest benefits.
The boons of rest are bigger than executing control overyour time. The National Sleep Foundation notes that quiet wakefulness can give braincells, muscles, and organs a break, reducing stress and improving mood,alertness, creativity, and more.
Some studies evensuggest a slight drop in reaction time after a nap versus after a rest periodbecause of the sleep inertia (a.k.a. grogginess after waking up) that sleepitself, but not rest, can cause.
During quiet wakefulness, when the brain is not activelyengaged in responding to the outside world, some of the brain electricalactivity is similar to what you’d see during sleep, explains Dr. Ritchie Edward Brown, aresearch health scientist at VA Boston Healthcare System and an associateprofessor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School who studies brain physiologyand the sleep-wake cycle.
“Once you know that you can feel more rested whether yousleep or not, that feel-good feeling can feed off of itself.”
Research also suggests that there may be similarbenefits between sleep and rest in terms of how you process information you’vebeen exposed to or how you try to find solutions to problems. One CellReports study of rats foundthat during quiet wakefulness, rats replayed and contextualized past events inorder to inform their future rat choices. How do scientists coerce a rat intoquiet wakefulness, you may ask? They don’t. Quiet wakefulness in rats meansthey are sitting or lying in one place, grooming themselves, or just lookingaround, which is something the animals do naturally. Scientists just look atthe electrical brain activity when they are in this state compared to when therats are active and running around.
Another small study out of theUniversity of California, San Diego found that people who napped and those whosimply rested performed the same on a visual test where they had to find a “T”image on a screen, suggesting that for some cognitive tasks, the benefits ofresting are equal to those of actually sleeping.
Ultimately, though, resting quietly with your eyesclosed can leave you feeling surprisingly refreshed, says Dr. Winter. And thatcan help you seek out more quiet moments. “Once you know that you can feel morerested whether you sleep or not, that feel-good feeling can feed off ofitself,” he says.
Sleep still reigns
Quiet wakefulness has its weaknesses. For one, it’sunlikely that quiet wakefulness is close to actual sleep in terms of its truerestorative benefits, says Brown. “If this was true, then there wouldn’t besuch a strong drive to sleep when we stay awake for a long time and sleepdeprivation wouldn’t be so harmful.” Anyone who’s had a baby, worked anovernight shift, or simply pulled an all-nighter knows all too well theemotional and physical tolls that come with little to no actual shuteye.
What’s more, the brain uses about 40% less energy duringsleep versus when you’re awake, and levels of wakefulness-promotingneurotransmitters such as histamine and norepinephrine are higher during quietwakefulness than sleep. “There is greatly enhanced clearance of toxic proteinsduring sleep compared to wakefulness,” says Brown.
In short, deep stages of sleep are key for helping youprocess emotions, remember new information, and repair cells (basicallyeverything you need to keep functioning like a high-functioning adult). Duringthese stages, the brain produces slow brain waves called delta waves, which areonly seen during sleep, says Dr. Winter. Ensuring that you’re getting therecommended seven to nine hours of sleep anight is key.
But in the midst of our busy schedules and stressed outlives, quiet wakefulness can infuse much-needed moments of calm and providesome health benefits, to boot. If you want to give it a try, consider these twojumping-off points.
1. Learn to meditate deeply
You can take being relaxed and quiet to another levelthrough meditation. Some early studies that monitored people’s electricalbrain activity during deep meditation suggested that people were able to reacha near–sleep-like state while awake but meditating. But the two aren’t exactlyequal. During meditation, your brain is likely not creating delta waves but alpha waves — a type of brain wave linkedwith relaxation, an uptick in creativity, a decrease in depressive symptoms, and, as shown in research on Tibetan Buddhist monks,an increase in long-lasting brain function.
Meditation also leads to an increase in beta waves(linked with focus) and gamma waves (linked with processing information fromdifferent brain areas). Hone your meditation skills with one of many apps (Headspace or Calm,for example) or by taking an in-person class.
2. Change the way you talk andthink about sleep
Just as Dr. Winter advises his sports team clients, youshould change the way you talk about sleep.
Instead of putting your child down for a nap, put themdown for “quiet time.” Instead of taking a nap yourself, close your eyes, turnthe lights out, set an alarm for 20 minutes, and just rest.
Simply enjoying being awake in bed has restorativebenefits. “If you truly think that either you’re going to get into bed and fallasleep or be awake and that’s fine then, either way, it’s a win,” Dr. Winter says.“This kind of transforms the act of sleeping in general.”
Plus, dropping the stress surrounding falling asleep canactually help you fall asleep in the first place; it’s usually Dr. Winter’sgo-to tip for overcoming sleep issues such as insomnia.
